Losing the Self

You can listen to this reflection here. Sunday’s gospel reading is here

Sometimes I wish Christianity could loosen its association with self-denial. That emphasis misses so much of the Good News – the life-affirming, “…and God saw that it was good,” “God is love,” “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,” “The Kingdom is now!” elements of the faith we proclaim.

On the other hand, we lose the essence if we stress only that happy stuff and ignore the sin and redemption, cross and glory parts of the story. If we’re going to be faithful to what Jesus taught and lived, we can’t just pull out this thread and hope to retain a coherent picture in our tapestry. This thread is woven into everything, the wholeness of what we proclaim Jesus did for us. Certainly, he said it often enough: He called the crowd with his disciples, and said to them, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it.”

What does Jesus mean by “deny yourself.” For many, this phrase connotes ascetism, doing away with comfort and frivolity and things that feel good. It’s hair shirts and pinched faces, dull clothing and hard work on behalf of others. It’s all vegetables and no chocolate. To quote a line from one of my favorite movies, Cold Comfort Farm, said in a sermon given to a sect of “quiverers, “There’ll be no butter in hell!” (Watch Ian McKellan’s masterful performance of that scene here; it’s a very fun movie!)

What if, rather than focus on behavior and consumption, we redefine self-denial as cultivating an orientation toward others and toward God? Denying self means laying aside our own prerogatives, our gratification, our convenience, our ego strokes, and giving our selves away to help others grow in faith. Of course, the phrase, “Giving our selves away” could seem to promote doormat-ship, a masochistic willingness to do for others until there’s nothing left of us. Certainly we’ve all known people like that – or been people like that.

But try this on for size: What if the “self” that Jesus suggests we lose is the one that is passing away in the first place, the natural human self before it becomes joined with the Spirit of the Living God? That self was never going to be robust enough to move us through life and into eternity. When we give our “selves” away for the Gospel, in the power and love of Christ, we become more fully our truest selves. Whatever we need from what we lay down will come back to us in a form we can use, as we allow God’s Spirit to transform us.

Is that risky? Sure. Jesus demonstrated just how risky, as he laid down his life in this world all the way to death. That will not be the call for most of us. But anytime we give up something, a voice inside – and often outside – says, “You’re going to need that! Don’t give it up.” It takes faith and trust to put aside our own agendas and live a path that seeks to bring life to others, that seeks to allow God’s life to take up ever more space in us.

In what ways do you feel called to put aside your self, your prerogatives or agenda? Think of times you’ve done so successfully. Did you feel like a chump, or did you feel God’s pleasure as you saw someone else thrive? What is your response to Jesus today when he says to deny yourself? I believe we will experience that, far from a pinched and parched asceticism, denying ourselves is the most joyful thing we ever do.

© Kate Heichler, 2024. To receive Water Daily by email each morning, subscribe hereHere are the bible readings for Sunday. Water Daily is also a podcast – subscribe to it here on Apple, Spotify or your favorite podcast platform.

0 replies

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *